Long distance relationships, do they work or not? And are they worth it? I feel like many people assume that eventually they don’t work out and so it’s not worth it. But I think that if the effort is there from both sides and with the wonderful creation that is the internet, they absolutely can!
I myself have been in a long distance relationship for a little over a year now. And many, rather most, of my friends are also in long distance relationships of different variations; from 4+ years to a few months and from different cities in the same country to two different continents! So I’ve asked for their thoughts, tips and advice for multiple perspectives. Whether you are in a long distance relationship, thinking about starting one or just plain interested I hope this helps!
Communication communication communication!
You’ve definitely heard this before but I’ll say it again, communication is the most important thing in a relationship, especially a long distance one! When you’re not near each other physically, more effort needs to be put into verbal communication. And with so many instant messaging apps from Messenger to Whatsapp and Instagram there’s no excuse. No matter how far away you are from each other, even if your partner lives on the other side of the world, with the internet it doesn’t make a difference. There are even many messaging apps made specifically for long distance couples!
I’ve been with my boyfriend, Stefanos, for just over a year now and it’s been long distance pretty much from the beginning! So communication is not only important to maintain a long distance relationship but also to develop it. Just because you’re not with each other in person doesn’t mean you can’t get closer as a couple. The distance between us at the moment is Malaysia to England (yeah I know 😩). For perspective that’s a 13 hour flight (direct) and 8 hour time difference, 7 hours in the summer. Time zones definitely make communication a bit harder especially when you’re both working/studying!
But as long as you both make sure you’re putting in the effort to talk, even if it’s a quick call during your break, sending messages or a meme for them to wake up to, it all counts and lets the other person know you’re thinking of them!~Moi
Anytime spent talking is worth it (especially in different time zones). Your days may not always be interesting and full of adventures to tell, that’s ok, you can still talk about how boring and monotonous your day was. Try to keep talking everyday, if you cannot then try when you can, the important this is to TRY: effort! There’s no such thing as too many messages or snaps, send away!~Stefanos
Below I’ve written what several friends of mine have said about the importance of communication in a long distance relationship. Some names have been changed for privacy.
Saba and Andrea have been together for a little over a year now and their distance is England to Cyprus, about a 5 hour flight and 2 hours time difference.
Making up for physical contact can be done by sending them good morning/good night messages, giving/asking for a summary of their day or just popping messages every now and then asking them how they are/what they’re up to etc. Also sending pictures! “This reminded me of you!” “Doesn’t this remind you of the time we…? and hey there’s nothing wrong with sending some intimate pictures (to keep the thrill up and going 😉)~Saba
Constant communication with your partner, even a simple gesture to show them that you’re there even when busy, is crucial in keeping the relationship alive and stable.~Andreas
Isabella has been with her partner for nearly 4 years now, but only long distance for just over a year. Same as Saba the distance is England to Cyprus and she says:
Make sure you have agreed expectations on communication i.e. will you be texting everyday? Perhaps dedicating a weekend day for a FaceTime/Skype video session? Limited communication, but more frequent trips to see each other? As long as you’re both on the same page, then it’s easier to make sure that both parties are getting the necessary attention.~Isabella
Trust is key! If you don’t trust one another, then things will get messy very quickly… so perhaps it wasn’t meant to be?~Isabella
Your relationship won’t last very long if there is no trust between one another. Trust is important in any relationship but when you go weeks or months without seeing your partner it’s especially important. It’s just not worth it if you’ll spend that time apart constantly doubting your partner or worrying if they’re doubting you. At the same time you don’t want your partner to doubt you if you’ve given them no reason not to trust you.
Absolute trust and communication are a must for a constructive, long distance relationship.~Andreas
However trusting one another doesn’t mean that you can’t reassure one another every now and then…
Even if they have heard from you a thousand times over… say it again… how much you love them and how amazing they are~Stefanos
Is it Worth it?
Totally worth it if you adore that person and think they’re the one then absolutely. You don’t have to be physically present constantly in someone’s life to be able to have a successful relationship. As long as you’re both open, honest and are fully committed to each other, it’ll work! 💜~Saba
Although I definitely wouldn’t recommend being in an LDR, if it has to happen, then I guess it’s a sacrifice you make to make sure that you’re able to continue sharing your life with that special someone. 💕
If you’re patient and supportive of one another, I think it can work. That doesn’t mean you have to force it… if it’s not working out, it’s better to end it and agree to stay friends, instead of having a very messy prolonged end!~Isabella
I also asked them why is it worth it? What makes you want to commit to one another even when you know you won’t be able to see each other that often? Or as my lovely boyfriend put it “why would someone knowingly and willingly put themselves through that kind of torture?” (umm thanks 😑)
Love. Because of something they knew right from the get go. Because they love each other. That is why this is worth it and why the relationship will only strengthen with time. And a long distance relationship that works, instantly eliminates any long lasting doubts. Because if the relationship was not real and the people did not really care about one another then it would never work out. So yeah it’s worth it because of love 💛~Stefanos
(ok he saved it 🙃)
Once you’ve made it through, you know that there’s very little that can shake your relationship.~Isabella
Looking forward to seeing each other and eventually closing the distance is heaven! Moments together in person are very special 😇 it makes you appreciate the little things.
Georgina has been with her partner for over 4 years and long distance for 3 and half years. Their distance is England to Italy, about a 2 hour flight and 1 hour time difference.
It’s worth it if you both see a light at the end of the tunnel together…
Otherwise, boy bye 👋~Georgina
Extra Tips and Advice
📖 Exchange your timetables or work schedules so you have a rough idea when to call/message.
🎞 Figure out a routine and find a hobby or something you can do together. For example me and Stefano love watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine together and we use a website called rabb.it where you can stream Netflix, Youtube and more while talking/seeing each other. It’s almost as good as the real thing, well not quite, but better than nothing!
😔 Fights WILL happen, as long as there is mutual understanding and love, everything will work out. Long distance does make fights harder but you need to be patient and try to remember why you’re both doing this. Also personal advice, don’t hang up if you’re both still upset, try to talk it out.
📆 Countdown the days, weeks or months till you’ll next see each other. You can even install a countdown app to keep track!
💑 Make the most of the time you do have together. I think that’s actually one of the great things about being in a long distance relationship. Because you spend so much time apart, any time together is more cherished and you’re pushed to make the most of your time! For example me and Stefanos celebrated our 10 month anniversary as we were together in Cyprus because we knew we wouldn’t be together for our 1 year anniversary.
So I do believe that long distance relationships are worth it. All the time apart is worth those special moments you do get to spend together. It’s not always easy, there will be days when all you want is to talk to your partner without a screen getting in the way. But if your relationship does survive the distance then you know that it is something real. 🤗
I hope you enjoyed this post, it’s quite different from what I usually write, but I figured it’s kind of related to travel… travelling to see your loved one 😜. I hope that, whether you’re in a long distance relationship or considering one you find this post useful! If you’ve enjoyed this please share and make sure to follow me on Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest! Until next week peeps 😘.